It s Not Easy See You Again Not Easy See You Again
I promise you're sitting down, because what I'one thousand about to share with you volition modify how y'all view men, dating, and relationships. I'thousand about to take you "behind the scenes" in the male mind. I'grand going to give you a perspective that virtually women never come across or realize. Unfortunately for most women, not seeing things the style I'm about to share with y'all keeps them trapped in patterns of misunderstanding and unfulfilling relationships with men. If y'all pay conscientious attention to what I'm about to share with you, you're going to outset having more success with men correct away, whether you're unmarried and looking for that right guy… or you lot're in a relationship and y'all'd like to offset connecting on a deeper level.
THE Difference BETWEEN WHAT MEN SAY AND WHAT THEY Really MEAN
Have you lot always heard a human being say something similar: "I'm non gear up for a serious relationship." Or how virtually this 1 – "I want my freedom." If you've been close in a human relationship with a human and he pulled away, and so of course you've heard this earlier. Men say this stuff all the fourth dimension. Do you know what a human being "really" ways when he says these things? And, do yous know WHAT TO DO that tin can instantly alter a man's predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL or RESISTANCE? If not, so information technology'south time you finish listening to what a man will SAY TO Yous nearly himself and his feelings… and get-go paying attending to what's going on within his heart and mind.
In the past, when I'd hear my friends, other men, and even myself say, "I'm non gear up for a serious human relationship", I knew that there was something more than to information technology than a simply a man who didn't want a human relationship with a woman. In fact, I institute that nigh of the men who said this speedily concluded up in relationships with OTHER WOMEN soon after. Men I knew well would be telling women they had been dating or in a relationship with, that they weren't fix for all that came with a "real" human relationship…
Merely what did they do as soon as they were single again? They would outset meeting new women, get on dates, and once they found a woman they liked and were very attracted to, they'd spend nigh of their time with this one woman. And they would do something else… They'd stop dating whatsoever other women they might have met and movement into another relationship, even though they had just ended a relationship with some other women they felt strongly for because they didn't want a "serious relationship." It almost didn't make sense when I first started to recognize this pattern. But proceed in mind, even though these things don't e'er make sense to women, they brand PERFECT sense to the men going through them. Does this situation with men ever frustrate y'all or go out you lot feeling like men accept NO Clue what they're doing?
Here's the trouble…
When a human says i of these things, he really MEANS something that is unlike from what a woman would mean if she said the same words. Allow me explain. If a woman says, "I'm going to stay abode and relax today," she probably ways that she'due south going to stay dwelling house, brand sure that her house and life is in order, catch upwardly on chores and bills, and then peradventure spotter some shows on tv set. If a MAN says that he's going to stay home and relax, he'southward probably going to picket some sports, potable beer, look at pictures of women on the internet, and order take-out food. Important NOTICE: If you are reading this right now and yous are a woman who watches sports, drinks beer, looks at pictures of women on the internet, and orders take out to relax, so contact me immediately at the email accost below. Okay, enough kidding effectually.
Back to our topic…
Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words they use often don't mean what they SOUND like they mean. And so, the FIRST affair that you lot have to get through your head is that simply considering a man SAYS something to y'all, it doesn't always mean what you THINK information technology ways. Catch my meaning?
THE Large SECRET HE ISN'T TELLING YOU
In that location'due south a secret that men never happen to mention about what they want with a adult female, why they appointment, and what it means for them to have a relationship. Unfortunately, for the proficient women who are trying to create a not bad human relationship with a man… and hoping that if they try difficult enough to make him happy with them so he'll stay… this fiddling secret is causing a LOT of pain and frustration.
The SECRET is that most men DO want a relationship with an amazing woman. BUT… (and this is an of import insight – it might accept you a few hours, days, or fifty-fifty weeks to start to understand it for yourself) Men only want a relationship with a woman who already has most 100 other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to. And they'll merely end upwards emotionally involved and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a adult female who proves she has these qualities over fourth dimension. In other words, if a man says, "I need to exist lonely right now," what he REALLY ways is: I desire a woman who will make me Experience better when I'k with her than I exercise in my everyday life as a unmarried man.
The REALITY is that when a man says 1 of these "I want my freedom" statements, he actually has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he is and won't make it feel like "piece of work" when he'south with her. A man wants a woman who knows how to have and relish a human relationship… instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to clarify, worry about, and "ready" things. The reality of this state of affairs is that what a man Actually wants is a woman who makes him experience MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like to call Allure… and LESS of the worry and confusion that men don't often similar, or know how to deal with, that comes from "working" on a serious human relationship. For virtually men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of a good relationship. Of course, I'1000 not simply talking about the mutual "short-term" kind of attraction that'south mostly concrete…
You already know that a relationship takes a whole lot more just this kind of thing to really work and LAST. I'thousand also talking about the more "long-term" kind of attraction that comes from a deeper EMOTIONAL connection and agreement. A homo wants a adult female who makes him Experience swell, both when he's with her… AND when he's alone. In other words, they desire a woman who knows how to be loving and appreciating, but independent at the same fourth dimension. But most men either can't describe the things that actually brand them feel this kind of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they don't WANT to have to depict it to a woman, because they desire a woman who already IS those things… without having to larn them. Think most information technology. If you were hiring a babysitter, would you desire one that said, "Yeah, I tin can be a bodyguard. Simply give me some time to acquire…" or would you lot want 1 that already KNEW how to protect and defend at anytime, anywhere without having to "learn"? Duh. Well, the aforementioned goes with men. They don't WANT a woman they accept to train. The last thing a man wants to practise is to take a woman who DOESN'T "naturally" sympathize these things and show her what they are and how they work.
If you lot don't already know how to relate to a human being in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you lot "get" all these things, and then no amount of "talking things through" or trying to improve things together is going to assist you or make him first seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with.
WHAT IS A "Cool Daughter"?
Lately I've been thinking a lot virtually the idea of a "Cool Girl." You hear most men using the term, and some women. Men everywhere, without always having talked to each other, share a common idea almost women and use the term "Cool Girl" universally.
In some places the actual words are different, only the idea is the aforementioned. But what does it really MEAN? And is it of import that men all have this mutual belief about women? Well, later thinking about this particular topic for a long time, I've come up to the conclusion that information technology is a VERY important topic. At this signal, I believe that a COOL Daughter is this "ideal" that men imagine when they're saying "I want my liberty." They're thinking of the COOL GIRL, then they're imagining themselves with a woman who is this fashion.
There are a lot of aspects to this Absurd Girl. Here are a few that are important:
– Lack of Insecurities
– Easygoing
– Humor
– Unpredictability
– Independent
– Emotionally "counterbalanced"
…and the list goes on.
Information technology's actually non easy to describe a Absurd Daughter in a few sentences… just the truth is that a man tin can recognize one INSTANTLY. For more on exactly what a Absurd Girl is, how they naturally communicate with men in a manner that makes men remember, "This is the kind of woman that I can see myself committing and staying with…" the all-time resource is Christian Carter's "Catch Him Proceed Him" ebook. Non only does information technology describe how men think when information technology comes to dating and why they commit to and stay in relationships with women… merely it shows you how to starting time interacting with men and create a deeper gut-level emotional attraction with a man IMMEDIATELY.
You can download it here and exist reading it in just a minute:
THE Error WOMEN Brand
Now, in that location's a mutual and often irreversible mistake that women make with men when they're dating and in relationships. Let me ask you… If you wanted to go closer to a man, take him encounter yous every bit a dandy person, develop a strong connection, and get him to "open upward" with y'all, then it would makes sense to practice and say the things that you know piece of work to create more than love and affection, right? This is the first inclination most women have with men – to exercise the things that THEY think create love and connection. What if a man did this with you? What if he decided that you lot worked the way he did, and then he decided to come to you and first talking about sex, sports, and apace become close to you physically? A man might speedily exist drawn in by a woman who did these things (not for all the right reasons, of course), but that doesn't hateful he should be trying them with a woman if he wants any kind of success.
In other words, the things that work FOR YOU as a woman are Non what work for a Human being. Thinking this manner couldn't lead to worse results in dating situations and relationships. But TONS of women utilise this tactic of what I telephone call "Selfish Love." They treat a human the way they would want to be treated if they were going to share love and connection with a man. Another mutual mistake women brand is taking something that a human SAYS he wants and doing information technology Besides MUCH, thinking that if "A little flake is good, then more must be meliorate." For instance, a man SAYS to you that he likes women who are physical and affectionate". So, you offset touching him all the fourth dimension, grab his hand and hold information technology everywhere you go, and always stay correct next to him.
Then what happens?
He leaves you for his ex-girlfriend afterward telling you he feels like you're too "needy." Huh? What's going on hither? This would be kind of like a woman saying, "My favorite food is chocolate" and a man thinking it would be proficient to feed her chocolate for every meal just because it'south her favorite… or adding chocolate to every single dish he makes for her from now on… and forgetting that 97% of what she eats yet needs to exist OTHER FOOD. Let me country the plane for you. Men don't Hateful what y'all Call up they mean when they talk about what they desire and don't want. And if yous have the things men say too literally, you lot're going to wind upwardly shooting yourself in the foot.
WHAT MEN Really MEAN…
So, let me "decode" what men "really" hateful when they say common things. Consider this your own personal "male person linguistic communication translator." Refer to it often. WHEN A MAN SAYS… "I don't desire a serious human relationship correct now." WHAT HE REALLY Ways IS… "I ONLY WANT A Relationship with a woman who already has her deed together, is attractive, healthy, independent, piece of cake-going, confident, and who is emotionally in control of herself and her own life. When we're together I want her to share her feelings and challenge and inspire me to proceed her love and interest, and to exist a great homo… but I also desire her to know how to practice this without trying to alter me or turning our relationship into MORE Piece of work and LESS FUN than I tin can have on my own." Does this make sense? Once again, he'southward Not imagining a moving-picture show of an overly-emotional, predictable, needy woman who is trying to get him to connect with her and sharing her feelings because she'due south then worried about things "working out." Big departure.
WHEN A Human being SAYS… "I desire an independent woman." WHAT HE REALLY Ways IS… "I want a woman who doesn't get upset about picayune things and who knows how to keep her head when things get tough or confusing. But, I too desire her to exist in touch with her feelings and so that: i. She doesn't repress her emotions and end up more than frustrated and resentful of me, and… 2. When she's alone and intimate with me, she's open and "present"… and she'll share her love and affection freely." What a human is Not doing is making a picture of a passive woman whose unabridged mood and country of listen is dependent on what she thinks is the country of her relationship and what information technology means that a homo did or said something.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS: "I desire a guy who's a skilful communicator." WHAT SHE Really MEANS IS… "I want a guy who doesn't talk all the fourth dimension, considering he knows how to let me know what's on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can touch me in a certain mode and I experience tingles all over my torso. And I want the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I empathise… not crudely and man-like."
WHAT MAKES A MAN FEEL Comfortable AND HAPPY WITH A WOMAN
You might not see this correct now, but for most men, there'southward nothing more than important than knowing that he makes a woman feel great when she's with him. Seriously. Recall "ego."
If you recall this truth near men through, you'll start to accept a shift in perspective and see something you've probably never seen before. When a woman comes to a man and wants to talk nearly something she thinks is wrong in their human relationship, often a man gets upset not because he doesn't want to listen to the woman or talk… But because it's hard for him to come to terms with the idea that the woman could exist unhappy with him. A human thinks, "It makes me feel like less of a man since I don't make her happy. If she's unhappy, then somewhere inside I must not be good enough." Imagine if a human was constantly expressing his feelings nearly your relationship to you that seemed disappointed and frustrated. How would it brand you lot feel? Sure, as a woman you might think to yourself that y'all'd talk to him about it and endeavor and make things better… But really yous'd start to accept i of two things come into your mind either consciously or subconsciously:
1. Something actually is wrong with You and the manner you are in the human relationship, and he'due south trying to tell you…
ii. Something is wrong with HIM and how HE thinks and feels that has nothing to practice with y'all, and it's his own "bad thinking" about HIMSELF that's making him obsessively unhappy…
Either mode, a whole lot More than Altitude is created betwixt you lot ii. Now, lots of women draw the conclusion that this ways you should attempt and pretend things are okay when they're not. That when you lot're not having the physical and emotional connectedness with a homo you know is possible, that you can't communicate how you feel with a human being. Incorrect. My point: If y'all desire to larn how to connect with a man on a deeper level, and so what you say isn't the most Of import matter. It'south HOW and WHEN you lot say it. I'll tell you something – Learning the secrets of communicating with a human and creating a deep level of Physical and "Emotional Attraction" can be very rewarding.
A lot of women know EXACTLY what it's like to be in a human relationship with a homo who has NO INTENTION of committing to something more than serious. In other words, he's not feeling that powerful gut-level Attraction for you that makes all the fear and excuses for NOT beingness with y'all and edifice a neat life and partnership go away without RESISTANCE. Do you know how to make a human Experience this way when he's with you. Or are y'all still trying to "CONVINCE" him with words and your own knowledge and "logic" that a close, loving, lasting relationship with him volition make him and you happy together?
Well, let me tell you… Just like all the other things that a homo "says" that he wants and doesn't want with a woman… that most women don't ever "become", being the woman a human being is NATURALLY ATTRACTED to on a deep level is one of the BIG ONES. This kind of attraction is THE thing that volition brand a human who "says" he doesn't want a serious human relationship beg a woman for a existent commitment and a hereafter together. If you lot understand the secrets of how attraction works for a homo, you volition observe that men volition start to behave VERY differently around you.
If you're set to take things to the next level, and y'all're Actually SERIOUS near getting this area of your life handled… and about having Total POWER AND Confidence with a man in EVERY RELATIONSHIP SITUATION from getting close for the offset time, to having "the talk", to making a lasting Commitment, so yous owe it to yourself to check out Christian Carter's "Catch Him Keep Him" ebook:
I'll talk to you again presently and best of luck in life and love.
Your friend,
Brandon
yoderafteptelle1936.blogspot.com
Source: https://catchhimkeephim.wordpress.com/2009/07/21/what-men-are-really-saying/
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